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Mari Takahashi, 31. Survivor skills: Mari likes to play video games, climb rocks and travel, and describes herself as courageous, adaptable and calculating. She also thinks her background in ballet will benefit her, you know, in case there is a challenge that involves an arabesque or a grand jeté. Survivability: Mari says her claim to fame was climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, but lest we appreciate her mountaineering skills, know that it was more than just scaling a 19,000-foot mountain. Instead, she says, “it marked my transition from the world I knew everything about, which was the ballet world I dedicated 25 years to, and walking into the unknown”. And where, you might ask, did this path of self-revelation and awareness lead her? To playing video games, which she now does for a living. We sure hope the Loser Lodge Arcade has an advance copy of “Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare.” are pointe shoes bad for the environment.
Michaela Bradshaw, 25. Survivor skills: Michaela, at first glance, doesn’t seem to have many skills, although she’s got a lot of philosophies. But after reading her bio we think her secret weapon might be what she calls her near immunity to rejection, learned from selling time shares are pointe shoes bad for the environment. Survivability: Michaela believes that as a Millennial, she is “bold enough to state a want and stubborn enough to work for it, despite obstacles and the opinions of others.” Her journey, she says, is only a failure if she stops moving forward. She also carries with her the notion that “I should have the desires of my heart, not because I am entitled to them, but because God granted me the ability to attain them.” On behalf of all those who bought a time share and lived to regret it, we’re going to have to say no to Michaela. But we hear there are some lovely units available at Loser Lodge..
Michelle Schubert, 28. Survivor skills: We have to admit to being frightened for the lives of all those on the Millennial tribe, but perhaps none more than Michelle, who says the three words that best describe her are “hungry, hungry hippo.” Technically, that’s only two, but Michelle doesn’t really seem into details. Survivability: Michelle says of herself that she loves learning, reading and dancing, and seeks beauty, adventure, and adrenaline. “I like nature, exploring, rock climbing, slacklining, and ‘The Settlers Of Catan’ games. I also study dragons and the stars.” Her pet peeve is windshield wipers on a dry window. We’re not sure why someone who is not grounded in reality is on a reality show, but we’re guessing the stars told her to sign up are pointe shoes bad for the environment. Please, let’s just send her home now before she seriously injures herself..
Taylor Lee Stocker, 24. Survivor skills: This self-professed spontaneous, inventive thinker likes playing music, brewing beer and snowboarding, but he hates wobbly tables, people not cleaning up after their dogs, loud chewing, slow walkers, selfies and forms without enough space for answers. Words; they’ve left us are pointe shoes bad for the environment. Survivability: Taylor says he’s a fan of fearless people, so there’s that. He also loves his generation, which he describes as “open-minded, liberal, self-expressive, upbeat, connected and tech savvy.” Plus, come on, man, the Millennials invented the words “sicky sicky, gnar gnar, rachet, clutch, bae, and LOL.” Those technically aren’t all words, but we’re too tired to point that out. Taylor believes that he’ll win because “most (people) would have a hard time voting me off because people like me. I am not annoying and I am a hard worker.” Oh, is he going to surprised when he get voted off..
Will Wahl, 18. Survivor skills: Will describes himself as cunning, adaptable and dynamic, and spends most of his leisure time watching TV, camping and fishing, and reading news articles, which is good news because we’ve been told Millennials don’t read the news. Won’t help him a bit in this game, but we felt the need to highlight it. Survivability: Will is the youngest player ever on “Survivor,” and he counts as his role models Jesus Christ and Ronald Reagan, although we aren’t sure in which order. One of the reasons he wanted to go onto “Survivor” is to prove that young people should be respected, and to do that he plans to “screw with people’s heads and lie every chance I get. It just sounds like fun.” Will believes he can manipulate people into thinking they are in control, when in reality he is the one making the big moves are pointe shoes bad for the environment. Will? Your mom called and it’s your bed time. Night-night..